The Truth About After-Birth

Well ladies and gentlemen, everyone needs to talk about afterbirth more! WAY more. I was so unprepared on what to expect about the afterbirth and that's kind of difficult when you're a control freak. (I'm working on not being so bad).

Blood, guts, weird flubber like placenta, and mini contractions. All the things no fucker told me about. All I was told was I could chose to have the injection to get it out quicker, yes please I said, sign me up get that shit out of me faster than I can say placenta. Honestly the feeling of 'giving birth' to my placenta made me want to vomit. Painful from my 2nd degree tear and graze I had from pushing my chunky baby out.

I was in pure heaven skin to skin with my little boy snuggling him, then the midwife is like right love time to get this placenta out. Pushing on my belly which was squishy already, uncomfortable as I was still having mini contractions. I didn't need the injection which I'm glad, less drugs in me the better. Then she gets down the end of the bed and it looks like she's tugging on the umbilical cord, *gagging sounds* I was fucking horrified. I think afterbirth freaked my husband out more. Couple of pushes and its out. Now there are so many ways I want to describe what it was like but honestly I can't put it into words. Makes me shiver thinking about it, honestly I'm being rather dramatic it wasn't scary or really painful just a very odd feeling. They then look for all the bits and pieces in it, making sure its all there, no bits left inside you that can be dangerous. She asked if I wanted to see it and she'd explain what's what so I figured fuck it, that thing took up most of the room in my stomach may as well get to know it a little bit before its destroyed. It was all well and dandy so off they carted it, see you later you big bag of blubber.

Now the most painful thing was being checked for tears, grazes and cuts. She told me she was going to check to see what I had going on, but I wasn't expecting it to be painful so I nearly booted the poor woman in the face from flinching so hard. She literally looked in every nook and cranny 1 2nd degree tear, not that I can remember what that means, and 1 graze. Luckily I didn't need stitches as they had started coming together themselves. The graze hurt more especially when I had my first pee!

So glad I read about running warm water down as you pee, that shit was stinging so bad for a good 2 weeks. I had so much anxiety about having my first poop, I know its ridiculous but I was so scared that I'd split open from my tear or something, that's what it felt like. In the end I worked up the courage to ask my midwife what to do, and if its bad. She made me feel so at ease and told me a lot of women ask about it, she told me nothing like that will happen and I'd be fine. If I still felt really uncomfortable I could hold a clean pad against the hoo-ha. Let me tell you doing that was amazing, felt so much better and comfortable. I know some women make those 'padsicles', which I was planning on doing, but baby brain I forgot. Maybe next time?

I wasn't sure how long I’d bleed for after giving birth, but I’m so glad I stocked up on those giant sanitary pads that feel like you have a cushion in between your legs. Going through them like hot cakes, after maybe a week or too I just started wearing the night time pads. I would definitely say get yourself some black or coral stretchy Pjs to cover any mishaps. Pretty sure I loved him stretchy pjs for 8 weeks as well as a nursery top. No chance I could wear a bra.

Did you all look down at your vajayjay as soon as you could? Or like me did you wait a good 4 weeks!? I was so scared what I'd see, but it was surprisingly A-okay. Not at all what I was expecting, which was a scene out of a Saw movie. Get that mirror down there and check it out girls, or if you're comfortable get your partner to check because at the end of the day haven't they seen it more than you? They'd know if something isn't looking quite right surely?

The whole point of me posting this, even if it does gross you out, is to let first time mums know what to sort of expect. Every birth is different no matter how you bring your baby into this world, but by sharing our experiences I think we will stop overthinking everything that is going to happen. Sometimes your birth plan doesn't work out, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. It may not have been in your plan but hey, as long as you and baby are safe why should it matter how many drugs you had, where and how you gave birth. We're all mums we should be supporting each other, not bringing each other down.