The Honest Mum

This is going to be a short blog post. Basically all the things people told me after my ectopic pregnancy that made me want to either scream or throat punch someone. Sometimes both. “At least you can get pregnant”- Pretty much every time I spoke about my loss. I couldn’t give two flying fucks, I understand I can get pregnant and for that I am so grateful but you’re missing the point. I could get pregnant but I couldn’t carry my baby. My body wasn’t healthy enough to have that pregnancy in the correct place. I think people don’t understand that some women can get pregnant but can’t carry to term, or have multiple losses. Just don’t say these words to anyone. “Yeah but you were not very far along”- first off a loss is a loss. Some women instantly feel attached to their babies as soon as they find out they’re pregnant. It doesn’t matter if you’re 5 weeks or 10. That was still my child, I still felt love for it. I was still excited about the journey I was about to go on. It doesn’t hur...

March 8th 2017 The morning of the day I knew my pregnancy was going to officially end. I can never explain the feelings and thoughts that were running through my mind this day, it was extremely difficult trying to understand why this was happening to me. Why it would happen to anyone. For me I felt like it was all my fault, there was nothing wrong with my baby, it was my body that was the problem, my fallopian tube that was damaged. Knowing that and being told this by a doctor was fucking hard. They obviously didn’t explain it in those words but they used all the medical terms they could to confuse the shit out of me, but all I heard was that it was my fault. I was originally given two options for treatment that I had to decide in a split second. Methotrexate injection, or surgery. I didn’t want either, I wanted my baby. At this point I think I just went numb as everything I had been feeling since I found out just faded away into nothing, I was empty. The injection had loads of sid...